


The Pied Pipers of Gondor

by lindahoyland



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Cats, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:41:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24597691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lindahoyland/pseuds/lindahoyland
Summary: Feist fish-loving felines post problems for Aragorn and Faramir.
Kudos: 6





	The Pied Pipers of Gondor

The Pied Pipers of Gondor

B2MeM Prompt:I25 Blind Guardian Lyrics- This deed can't be undone. Colour Burst 5- Blue – Robin eggs. Setting as Character- The City.  
Format:short story  
Genre:humour, crack, friendship  
Rating:G  
Warnings:none  
Characters:Aragorn, Faramir, Arwen, OMC, OFC  
Pairings:Aragorn/Arwen, Faramir/Éowyn   
Creators notes:Based on the same prompts as “The Soldier sleeps no more” and written as a companion piece by this crazy cat lady for a bit of fun and as a thank you to friends who follow my blog and stories. If you'd like to follow my blog, PM me. The repetition is deliberate. Not to be taken too seriously.  
Summary:Aragorn and Faramir find themselves surrounded by cats.

Aragorn and Faramir were hard at work, working out the terms of an important treaty when they were interrupted by piercing meows. A cacophony of meowing assaulted their ears. They hastened outside to investigate the commotion and were met with a remarkable sight.

One of the Citadel Guards was holding aloft two large baskets from which a distinctly fishy odour emanated. The court of the fountain was overflowing with cats of every colour. Black cats, white cats, ginger tabbies, grey tabbies, brown tabbies, tortoiseshells, patchwork cats, black and white cats, ginger and white cats; kittens and battle-scarred old toms; cats of every hue and size were meowing loudly and surrounding the young Guard carrying the basket.

A small crowd had gathered. Some were laughing while others observed the scene in horror. Some Guards were vainly trying to shoo the cats away.

“What is the meaning of this?” asked the King struggling to keep a straight face. He had to shout to be heard above the chorus of meowing.

“You told us to guard the robins' eggs, sire,” said the Guard. “I'm trying to do so.”

“I told you to keep cats away from the nest, not bring every feline in the City here,” said Aragorn.

“You told us not to hurt the cats, sire, so I thought if I asked the fishmonger for some fish heads and tails I could throw one to every cat that approached to lure it away from the White Tree,” said the Guard. “My Grandmother tells me that cats like fish.”

“I meant you to shoo them away which is easy to do without hurting them,” said Aragorn.”It seems you know little about cats.”

“You have demeaned the dignity of the White Tree!” said Faramir as cats wove around his ankles.

“I'm sorry, my lords.” The Guard looked terrified.

“Give me those baskets!” Aragorn demanded. The Guard thankfully relinquished them as the cats transferred their attention to the King. Faramir took one of the baskets to aid his Lord. “You are relieved of duty today and lose a day's pay,” said Aragorn. “I see that you meant well, but this deed cannot be undone.. I want you to remove every trace of fish from your person and clothing before you return to duty tomorrow. I warn you, if anything like this happens again, you are dismissed in disgrace.”

The Guard saluted smartly, thankful his punishment was so lenient. “Yes, sire. Thank you, sire.”

“Now go!” Aragorn said sternly. The man marched swiftly away and another Guard filled his place standing guard over the White Tree.

The cats now swarmed around the King and Steward. There were black cats, white cats, ginger tabbies, grey tabbies, brown tabbies, tortoiseshells, patchwork cats, black and white cats, ginger and white cats; kittens and battle-scarred old toms; cats of every hue and size.

Queen Arwen had by that time come outside to see what all the commotion was, accompanied by Eldarion. The little boy was trying to pet some of the cats, but they ignored him.

“What do you plan to do, Estel?” asked Arwen. “I like cats, but we cannot have the White Tree surrounded by them.”

“Indeed not, my love,” said Aragorn. “If any of our cats are here, shut them inside. Faramir and I will deal with the others.”

“What is your plan?” asked Faramir as Arwen tried to round up the royal cats. As he spoke, one cat climbed on his back and another up his leg. He shook himself to rid himself of them.

“We must lead them away from the White Tree,” said Aragorn. “They will follow us if we carry the baskets of fish.”

“Where to?” asked Faramir.

Aragorn was silent for a few moments, lost in thought. Then his face lit up.“There is an old lady, Dame Rian, in the Third Circle who adores cats,” said Aragorn. “ I have seen her buying fish at the market for the stray cats she feeds. She will not mind if we feed the cats the fish in her garden.”

King and Steward set off with black cats, white cats, ginger tabbies, grey tabbies, brown tabbies, tortoiseshells,patchwork cats, black and white cats, ginger and white cats; kittens and battle-scarred old toms; cats of every hue and size clustering round them ,meowing loudly rubbing against their legs and trying to impede every step they took.

As they reached the Second Level, Faramir looked longingly at the gardens of the Houses of Healing.

Several of the Healers had come out together with the more mobile patients all of whom gaped at the spectacle of the King and Steward followed by dozens of black cats, white cats, ginger tabbies, grey tabbies, brown tabbies, tortoiseshells,patchwork cats, black and white cats, ginger and white cats; kittens and battle-scarred old toms; cats of every hue and size.

“Do not even think of leaving them here,” Aragorn cautioned. “King and Steward we might be but Master Tarostar and Dame Ioreth would have our heads!”

Faramir sighed and reached into the basket and threw a fish head to distract the cat that was sitting on his shoulder.

They progressed through the City trailed by two Guards. People came out of their houses to watch and stare. Some joined in the procession. A few cats went home when they reached the edge of their territories, but were replaced by even more.

It took a long time to reach the Third Circle, impeded as they were by cats weaving around their feet. Dame Rian was already in her garden when they arrived and beamed when she saw they had brought back cats, white cats, ginger tabbies, grey tabbies, brown tabbies, tortoiseshells, patchwork cats, black and white cats, ginger and white cats; kittens and battle-scarred old toms; cats of every hue and size.

“What a joyous day!” she exclaimed. “You have brought all these beautiful cats to visit me! Alas, I have nothing to feed them with, but I shall go straight to the market!”

“We have brought two large baskets of fish for you,” said Aragorn as he and Faramir thankfully set the baskets down. They helped the old lady scatter the fish around her garden. The cats set too with a will and then all turned and slunk and scurried away to homes and alleyways apart from one large ginger tabby who sat washing his whiskers outside Dame Rian's front door.

Dame Rian smiled happily. “This is the most wonderful day of my life!” she exclaimed.”If only I could do this every day!”

“We will ask the fishmonger to save some scraps for you,” said Aragorn. “I am certain the cats would visit you again. We will leave the baskets with you to collect the fish in. Now we must bid you good day.”

“That would be wonderful!” said Dame Rian. “I thank you.”

"We thank you too," said Aragorn and Faramir.

Aragorn and Faramir took their leave almost unnoticed by the old lady who was preoccupied in making friends with the ginger tabby.

When they reached the White Tree, the robin was sitting on her nest and not a single cat was in sight.


End file.
